Job Smulders

JobSmulders
JobSmulders NL

Author Archives: jobsmulderscom

Hooggevoelig en hoogbegaafd? WTF! Mateloos geïrriteerd!

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“Het irriteert me mateloos dat hij ieder halfuur moet roepen dat hij hooggevoelig en hoogbegaafd is,” zegt ze terwijl ze me aankijkt alsof ik net een ongepast voorstel geopperd heb. Met haar armen strak over elkaar leunt ze dramatisch naar … Read More

“Darn irritating: he doesn’t listen, just fills it in immediately!”

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Photo credit: @ospanali “If he would just listen for a moment and let me finish speaking, I wouldn’t have to ask the same question three times.” “I feel like he often doesn’t really listen, already projecting, and as a result, … Read More

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“Get out of my space!!!”

“Dad, get out! I’ve got the kitchen this afternoon!!!”

I step into the kitchen through the back door, startled by her intensity and the mess in the kitchen. There’s flour everywhere, half-empty cups, dirty bowls, empty packages, and water on the floor.

The stress is palpable—my daughter is baking muffins for a party and has a tight deadline.

Driving home, I realize I forgot my water bottle. I’m getting thirstier by the minute, but I know I’m almost there. A bit more delay, a dry mouth and lips, and a slight headache creeping in. I turn onto our street, looking forward to making myself a big cup of tea.

Assertive daugther screaming

Photo credit Popowski

But the promise of my long-awaited thirst-quencher vanishes in an instant. I’m about to explode and snap at my daughter with an irritated remark.

Then, it clicks, and I take a deep breath.

I say nothing and take another breath in and out as I watch my daughter with admiration: How wonderful! She’s claiming her space and making delicious things.

In response, I see my daughter relax and smile… and then we both start laughing.

There was a time when these ‘little things’ would deeply affect me, and I would quickly be triggered with irritation or anger. That created distance between me and my family.

But now, I can laugh about it.

How about you? What small things used to or still do irritate you?

I am Job, living with my wife and three teenagers in Hilversum.

Since 2015, I have been increasingly approached by people around me as a sparring partner/coach, whatever you want to call it. In recent years, I have actively kept time free in my schedule to be a sounding board for mainly busy professionals between the ages of 35-55.

I live near nature and I walk an average of about 40 kilometers per week. Walking is a breath of fresh air for me, as I am not good at sitting still. 😊 Many of my coaching sessions are done outdoors, while walking. But there is always the option to work indoors in my coaching space.

Appreciation, balance, anger, and being connected. These themes I have extensively experienced and explored myself in recent years and through the multiple coaching trainings I have completed. My fascination lies in how we view our world and how this affects our emotions, our actions, and so our life. I have a large toolkit of methods and interventions. I draw a lot of inspiration and methods from the work of Tony Robbins, Bashar, Brandon Bays, Nick Breau, and many more.

Central to my approach is slowing down to become (more) aware of what we think, what we belief to be true, and what we feel. I do not work according to a fixed methodology, but I use a backpack full of tools. It is beautiful to see and experience that listening, asking questions, walking, short activations, and interventions can lead to real and deep changes in the dozens of people I have guided over the past years.